You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
