why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
