Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
