You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
