I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
