I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
