So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
