Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
