Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
