he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So squirting runs in the family.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
