i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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