Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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