I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
