Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
