White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
