UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
