Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
