Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
