I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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