I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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