Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
