Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
