Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So many bounce houses so little time
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Is Oprah even human
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
