Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
