i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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