is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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