Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
