Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Congratulations! We have a period
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