Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
