summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
