Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
