you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
