kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
