I didn't shave. On purpose
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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