Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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