I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
