I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
