Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
