So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
