My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
