The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
