she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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