I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
