this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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