She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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