So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
