Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize