38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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