my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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