...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
