It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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