So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
