Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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