I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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