he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
