He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
