Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
