I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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