I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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