I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize