He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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