took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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