Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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