i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Michael Bay diarrhea
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
