they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
