It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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