I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
