I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
